The second NLP Presupposition we will take a look at today is…Effective Communication is the Meaning You Get – NLP

Effective communication is more than just conveying wholly what you want. It is the response that matters. The meaning of your communication may not be accurately interpreted and the response may be different from what you intend it to be. People respond according to what they think you mean. To elicit the right response, the responsibility lies with you to communicate in a manner that enables the other person to understand exactly what you mean.

Focus on the other person’s responses to what you are saying. Instead of assuming that he will grasp all that you say, change your communication accordingly until the desired outcome is obtained. How you say it is more important than what you say. You need to talk to them rather than at them. There are no such things as failures in communication, only mis understandings in responses and feedback; so if the response differs from what you want, adjust the way you are communicating.

The traditional belief was that two persons engaged in communication are equally responsible for its success, which is a 50-50 share. One partner who thinks he has done his best may blame the other for the misinterpretation of the mutually beneficial communication. Thus, the communication terminates. No favorable outcome is achieved. If you are a salesman, the termination is your loss as you end up not making any sale. Take responsibility for the success of the communication. Change your way of communicating whenever you have to.

Words made up only about 7% of communication. The rest of ninety-three percent is non-verbal signs in tone (38 percent) and body language (55 percent).  Ever wonder why texting someone isn’t a great way to communicate?  The person on the other end of the phone is only receiving 7% of your intended communication!

Misunderstanding can easily arise whenever spoken words and non-verbal signs do not match. your verbal and non verbal communication needs to be congruent, it needs to match up.  If on one hand your words are saying you want to help someone when your non verbal is saying… get me out of this, then the communication isn’t congruent.  Your conscious mind might be saying YES and your unconscious mind might be saying NO.

Children who disobey their parents are not necessarily disobedient. There is likely to be some failure by the parents to communicate adequately with their children. Employees who have done something quite different from their employer’s wishes may have misunderstood the orders; teachers who blame their students who have not understood fully may have themselves to blame for not conveying clear instructions; you give feedback to a friend with good intention of helping him but he feels offended may well be a result of how you give the feedback.

If your personal success or job depends largely on your ability to communicate well, interacting with people, managing them or depending on them, you need this communication skill. Skill in communication is an essential prerequisite to avoid misunderstanding. As an effective communicator, you can have far more control over your relationships and outcomes. Always aim to shift the responsibility for effective communication to yourself.

This is an NLP Presupposition and I will be offering a one day “Masterful Communications” Seminar with UNB Extended . Learning in October 2017.  Please join me there for a full day of learning !

At the end of this seminar, participants should be able to:

  • Discover what your preferred representational system is for communicating. (Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic or Auditory Digital)
  • Have an understanding of the 4 Representational systems that people use for communicating to others and to themselves.
  • Overcome the common barriers that cause interference between speakers and listeners
  • Have an understanding of the NLP Communication Model and how everyone deletes, distorts and generalizes in communication all the time, we are all biochemically unique with our own model of the world and unique filters
  • Knowledge of, and the Use of body language, physiology, & voice, in communications.
  • Be able to read eye patterns for optimal rapport and communication
  • Students will be able to send messages that build positive relationships
  • Adapt your speaking & communication for different people and situations
  • Gain knowledge of NLP Principles & how to use them in business or at work such as: Cause >Effect, Perceptions is Projection & Beliefs (coming from the conscious and unconscious mind)
  • Be able to distinguish key distinctions of Masterful Communications and apply them in your workplace

To your Heath, Results & Success!

Lynn Thier

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