Healing from things that have hurt us emotionally can be a confusing process. We are usually aware of when we are feeling hurt or upset, but what about more complex feelings like abandonment, betrayal, insecurity, resentment, and vulnerability? The ability to recognize and correctly label these negative emotions can facilitate emotional healing and understanding. The Emotion Code (™) Definitions of Emotions contains helpful definitions for these five emotions.
“Physical abandonment is being left alone, left behind, or deserted (this is the type of abandonment that we most often see in childhood). Emotional abandonment is being given up on, withdrawn from, emotionally deserted or separated from, or a feeling of being ‘left behind’ in a non-physical form.”
According to Sharie Stines, Psy.D, “Being invisible to your loved one is an existential wound. It causes you to feel that you don’t matter and questions your right to even exist. Research has found that one of the primary ways to injure a person is to remove him or her from significant human contact; particularly communication.”
“Betrayed [or betrayal] is to have your trust broken, to be deserted or hurt by a trusted one. Betrayal of another is to be unfaithful in guarding or fulfilling a trust; to be disloyal or violate a confidence, to desert someone who trusts you. Betrayal of the self is to break integrity, act against one’s morals, to abuse the body or soul.”
Betrayal can be inflicted intentionally or unintentionally. We want to believe we can trust someone and are caught completely by surprise when they don’t act the way we expected, which creates a type of emotional trauma.
The pain of betrayal often presents itself as physical aches and pains. Some other symptoms include fatigue, nausea, change of appetite and difficulty sleeping.
“A lack of confidence; self-conscious; shy. Feeling unsafe from danger or ridicule.”
Insecurity often stems from a mental comparison with what we think we “should” be versus how we perceive we actually are. Unfortunately, our brain can trick us into thinking both of these images are true when, in fact, that image of perfection is unrealistic and our perception of ourselves is inaccurate.
“A feeling of displeasure or indignation at someone or something regarded as the cause of injury or insult; bitter for having been treated unfairly; unwilling to forgive. Often this emotion comes along with animosity (ill-will that displays itself in action, strong hostility or antagonism).”
Resentment is caused by a need to place blame. Many of us focus too much on who is responsible for causing us pain. Resentment can also come when we hold onto hurt feelings instead of trying to resolve them, or when we are unwilling or unable to forgive.
“Feeling susceptible to harm, either emotional or physical; unsafe; unstable.”
Vulnerability is scary and uncomfortable. Even familiar places and activities can trigger feelings of worry and uncertainty. It is difficult to discern whether or not you are safe.
It is important to determine whether or not any of these emotions are slowing down your emotional healing process. Facing negative emotions is never easy, but conquering the feelings that are weighing you down will enable you to have healthier relationships. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or talk to someone about difficult emotions.
Discover Healing can also help when dealing with different kinds of emotions. The Emotion Code is a revolutionary healing tool for helping you find and identify your trapped emotional baggage — and for healing the pain…